So yesterday I was not in any kind of mood or ability to be at work....a bit hungover I have to say.
It all started on Tues. nite when I met a friend out for a couple of after-work drinks at the awesome Mexican restaurant, Lauriol Plaza. If you have not been I suggest you get right real quick and check it out. The food is ok, but the drinks are to kill for. They probably have one of the best frozen margaritas that I have ever had. Anywho....we can talk later about these matters. So after a half-pitcher and a bowl of chips and salsa I parted ways with my friend and was on my way home to watch some TV....that will have to be another blog cause Bravo is not holding back this summer bitches......As I stated to walk I thought I should call Chuck to see what he was doing. I actually felt guilty for not calling him earlier b/c he lives across the street from where the drinking of said fabulous margaritas took place...anywhosit....I decided to meet up with Chuck on the street to catch up, but as things tend to happen we were walking past Jr's and as fate would have it stepped in to see what was going on. Bad idea..... I was pretty drunk by the time I met up with Chuck, that damn Jose, so drinking more was probably not the smartest thing. So after a couple of drinks and some SPS....check out the link, we left there only to return again after finding the scene at Halo a bit of a downer. Now any decent person would have told me to stop drinking and take my ass home, not Chuck, that bitch, like me loves chaos and mischief, so we had a couple more and decided that it was time to go.
By now the fire is already going pretty strong and one knows how hard it is to put a forest fire out after it's been going for a while, so I called Nard up and decided to pick him up and head back out. We met up with some friends from B'more and Chuck again, of course, and headed to a place that I had never been before, Windows aka DIK bar. Now our friends from B'more are a little crazy, one in particular, Jamie. Everytime I'm around him I get drunk without fail. I love him to death, but my body can not handle him. So after being there for a while, and of course I was wicked drunk by now, a couple of Jamie drinks in me only produced one thing....the crazies. I don't even remember getting wasted....it was like ooooo I'm a little drunk to oh my god I am pass out drunk right now. So anywho, after a couple more drinks, some karoke, not me...others, and a drag queen feeling me up as though I was going out of style, we left the bar, well some of us, not me. I stayed behind to talk with a man that I remember having braces and no lisp....weird I know. After discussing who know's what....I left DIK bar to meet up with the ladies at Cobalt. That's were things get a little fuzzy......I remember going into said club and I remember leaving said club, it's the middle that is neither here nor there.
Anywho, I woke up the next moring to find myself dressed head to toe in full gear and at 11am. I'm a mess, I know.
You think that I would have had enough on Tues., but oh no....not this queen. Yesterday, after doing a bunch of stuff around the house, mostly getting caught up with TIVO, I found out that a certain someone was headed back down from B'more to give the fans a little more. So last nite me, Nard, and Chaz went to Jr's for a couple of drinks and then over to Chaos for hip-hop nite. It's really ladies night, but calling it hip-hop nite makes me feel so much better, not really into the whole carpert movement. After sweating to death for about an hour we finally met up with Jamie and gave the fans a little something....there was the one armed shimmy, gold chains on shoulders and some fierce hair. All in all it was a good nite.
So now it's time for the real party to begin. That was all just a warm up for what's about to come. Pride is upon us and that can only mean one thing.....DC watch out because it's about to get outta hand.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Monday, June 06, 2005
Once in a while
So this past weekend didn't really see that much activity as past. On friday me and the girls gathered to have a "women empowering" movie night. We decided that before the season really gets into gear we should clear our heads and get back to "one". We started off with a great movie and a lot of food, "What's Love Got to Do With It". If you have not seen this movie, I beg of you to put your shame away for one day and let your soul live. My homegirl Angela Bassett does an amazing job of playing a Soul Surviving Sister Tina Turner. The acting plus the show stopping dance and music numbers really did a number on us and you can believe that there were tears flowing.....Next, we moved on up hill to another great Sister movie, "Waiting To Exhale". Again if you have not seen this movie dust your inner diva off and rent it. If you don't know about the wonderful Terry McMillan book and equally great movie, it is about four "sisters" that deal with various issues from men to their own personal problems. Of course all four of the girls fit neatly into one of the four characters....I'll let you guess were we ended up. With two movies behind us we called it a nite.
Sat, after throwing up for several hours after coming home friday nite...3am-3pm, this happens when you eat too many of your feelings, we decided to head over to Chuck's for some pre-drinks and then make our way to Cobalt. All in all, a good nite.
Sun...found me waking up a little later then expected. I was spending the day in VA beach with my mom. Her and various other parts of my extended family had made the trek from St. Louis to VA Beach for a week long vaca. I hadn't seen my mom since sometime in Feb, when I went home for work. We only got to spend a little time together because I brought co-workers home for dinner, so I was really looking forward to seeing her. I got up around 8:30, the original plan had me up and on the road by 7:30....not happening after a nite out with the girls and all. So I finally hit the road around 9ish and it was a gorgeous day for driving. I had never driven south of Fredicksburgh, Va before so this was going to something new for me. All in all, a really smooth ride. There was barley any traffic and I got to drive over water. I don't know what it is about driving over water, but it always makes things for me a little calmer. I love it....anyway side not..... My mom and others were camping with a newly acquired camper and truck...both of which I was interested in seeing. Seeing my mom is always a great time for me. My mom and I have such a great relationship. I can talk to her about anything, unlike my other siblings. We had a long discussion about life in general. We talked about death, life and being gay. Ever since I came out to my mom, it's been interesting. Although she knows, I think that she would be happier not knowing. She is for the most part, just not happy that I'm gay. I think that she always thought that I would be the one of her kids to live the "great american life"...go to school, get a job, a wife, and then kids. We'll I've done most of that except the wife and kids part oh and the job part for right now.....but the conversation was the first real one that we've had since I told her I was gay almost 3yrs ago. We discussed the difference between those who choose to be "gay" and those who are born "gay". In the end I think that all points were taken on both sides and if anything we grew that much closer. After having dinner with the fam I took off for a three hour drive into the sun set. It was beautiful.
In all, the weekend was just what I needed. Relaxing, soul searching and stress free....God, I wish there were more like it.
Sat, after throwing up for several hours after coming home friday nite...3am-3pm, this happens when you eat too many of your feelings, we decided to head over to Chuck's for some pre-drinks and then make our way to Cobalt. All in all, a good nite.
Sun...found me waking up a little later then expected. I was spending the day in VA beach with my mom. Her and various other parts of my extended family had made the trek from St. Louis to VA Beach for a week long vaca. I hadn't seen my mom since sometime in Feb, when I went home for work. We only got to spend a little time together because I brought co-workers home for dinner, so I was really looking forward to seeing her. I got up around 8:30, the original plan had me up and on the road by 7:30....not happening after a nite out with the girls and all. So I finally hit the road around 9ish and it was a gorgeous day for driving. I had never driven south of Fredicksburgh, Va before so this was going to something new for me. All in all, a really smooth ride. There was barley any traffic and I got to drive over water. I don't know what it is about driving over water, but it always makes things for me a little calmer. I love it....anyway side not..... My mom and others were camping with a newly acquired camper and truck...both of which I was interested in seeing. Seeing my mom is always a great time for me. My mom and I have such a great relationship. I can talk to her about anything, unlike my other siblings. We had a long discussion about life in general. We talked about death, life and being gay. Ever since I came out to my mom, it's been interesting. Although she knows, I think that she would be happier not knowing. She is for the most part, just not happy that I'm gay. I think that she always thought that I would be the one of her kids to live the "great american life"...go to school, get a job, a wife, and then kids. We'll I've done most of that except the wife and kids part oh and the job part for right now.....but the conversation was the first real one that we've had since I told her I was gay almost 3yrs ago. We discussed the difference between those who choose to be "gay" and those who are born "gay". In the end I think that all points were taken on both sides and if anything we grew that much closer. After having dinner with the fam I took off for a three hour drive into the sun set. It was beautiful.
In all, the weekend was just what I needed. Relaxing, soul searching and stress free....God, I wish there were more like it.
Friday, June 03, 2005
ChChChanges
So last nite Bernie and myself decided that we would check out a local bar called Apex. On Thursday nite's Apex host college nite, which means that entrance is free with a college idea or $5 without...either way a good deal. Now, one goes there to hear a variety of music. In one room you can dance the night away to Janet's latest single or you can opt for a little more up tempo and hit the dance floor hard to a little Tom Stephan.
I go for the R&B, cause here in DC it's not common for clubs to really play a lot of rap and/or R&B. The r&b room is a little small, but it works especially after a long work week and all you want to do is dance the week away and say hello to the weekend. As soon as you enter the room you are greeted by something that may not be so common; teenage boys. Because it's college nite, you only have to be 18+ to get in, which is either a good thing or a bad one. For me it's bad.
The room being the size that it is, is not very conducive to pre-teen Queens jumping up and down to Britney's latest. As I looked around, in the over crowded room, last nite I started to notice something, most of the boys that were there all had something in common; either they were wearing hollister t-shirt's, bronzer, and/or some kind of eye make-up. What the hell is going on.
I don't know if it's cause I'm a jaded, bitter, queen or what, but when I was growing up fags did not act like this. We were a different breed. No make-up, no tight t-shirts, and def. no long hair that came with product and highlights. These boys, they can only be called that, are so different. OBVI, it's a different time and place, but is it really that much different. Sure gays are on TV nowa day's, and you can even see guys having sex together if you and or your parents shell out the $70 a month for cable. But, we still live in a world were racism still exist, gays get beat for holding each other's hands in public, and innocent people day each day. So as much as time is changing, is it really time or "Gays" that are changing.....
I go for the R&B, cause here in DC it's not common for clubs to really play a lot of rap and/or R&B. The r&b room is a little small, but it works especially after a long work week and all you want to do is dance the week away and say hello to the weekend. As soon as you enter the room you are greeted by something that may not be so common; teenage boys. Because it's college nite, you only have to be 18+ to get in, which is either a good thing or a bad one. For me it's bad.
The room being the size that it is, is not very conducive to pre-teen Queens jumping up and down to Britney's latest. As I looked around, in the over crowded room, last nite I started to notice something, most of the boys that were there all had something in common; either they were wearing hollister t-shirt's, bronzer, and/or some kind of eye make-up. What the hell is going on.
I don't know if it's cause I'm a jaded, bitter, queen or what, but when I was growing up fags did not act like this. We were a different breed. No make-up, no tight t-shirts, and def. no long hair that came with product and highlights. These boys, they can only be called that, are so different. OBVI, it's a different time and place, but is it really that much different. Sure gays are on TV nowa day's, and you can even see guys having sex together if you and or your parents shell out the $70 a month for cable. But, we still live in a world were racism still exist, gays get beat for holding each other's hands in public, and innocent people day each day. So as much as time is changing, is it really time or "Gays" that are changing.....
Thursday, June 02, 2005
SOAP BOX......
So I've decided that each month I'm going to get onto my "SoapBox" once a month and talk about things that I think should be talked about..feel free to comment, because I know that I will say something's that won't make everyone happy, but that's life..
SMOKING.........
I don't understand why people smoke. I mean I'm not going to sit here and say that I've never done it or anything, because I have. I was just like most people who tried smoking once or twice and or even got into when they were in college and only did it when they drank. What really gets me are people who are addicted to smoking. For instance, if one of the first things that you do in the morning once you get up is go and light up and think about how or what you are going to do to conquer today, then you sir/mame are addicted. How can your first thought in the morning, after a nite's sleep be....damn I need a cigg.....what??? No....there is nothing right about that. There should def. be a signal that goes off in your mind that says "maybe I need to get some help with this" or something. We all have our faults, but something's should not be overlooked.
SMOKING.........
I don't understand why people smoke. I mean I'm not going to sit here and say that I've never done it or anything, because I have. I was just like most people who tried smoking once or twice and or even got into when they were in college and only did it when they drank. What really gets me are people who are addicted to smoking. For instance, if one of the first things that you do in the morning once you get up is go and light up and think about how or what you are going to do to conquer today, then you sir/mame are addicted. How can your first thought in the morning, after a nite's sleep be....damn I need a cigg.....what??? No....there is nothing right about that. There should def. be a signal that goes off in your mind that says "maybe I need to get some help with this" or something. We all have our faults, but something's should not be overlooked.
What's Metro
When I first moved here I was so excited about the idea of riding a train to work everyday. I mean it's the thing that you see in all the great old movies, you know people being all metropolitan and getting on the train to commute to and fro. I even went so far as to map out my way to get to the Metro....driving to the station, where I would park, how much time that would take and what not. Then to top it all off I even drove almost the same route that my train would take to get me to my destination, finding the station and all. I was so excited.
The first day my stomach was filled with butterflies. I got up extra early, just in case my whole timing thing didn't work out, and got myself to the metro station with no worries. I bought my ticket and stood on the platform ready to start my day. I looked around and thought "the train must be late today". Then I realized that trains were going in two different directions and that I had no clue which way was correct. So I quickly called my DC tour guide, Chris, and got myself on the correct side. I saw the train and the excitement built up inside of me so great I could barely breath. The train pulled in and the door stopped a couple of steps away from and then it started. This stampede that did not end. I was pushed and pulled in all directions. No "excuse me", no "pardon me", nothing....just people pushing and elbowing. I finally got onto the train and took and deep breath and thought " I can't wait to do that again."
Everyday, coming and going, I felt this way. I couldn't get enough of the Metro. I lived for it. The pushing, the shoving, the no "pardon me's". And the experience inside the train was just as great. I'm a huge people watcher so what better place to do so then inside a "tin-can" with an ever changing background and cast of characters.
But just like all good things, when you have too much of something you soon tire of it. I started dating a great guy and soon actually lived with him for about a month. His place was so convenient. I could walk to work, to bars, and even friends house's. It was great. I no longer need to drive, worry about the timing of trains and all the pushing and shoving and the no "pardon me's". I actually grew into someone who hated the Metro. I was a city liver now, I didn't need Public transportation, PT, as my old boss would call it.
Now, I'm no longer dating the great guy that has the convenient apt. So it's back to the Metro for me. It's only been three days and I hate it.....the pushing, the shoving, the no "pardon me's" I miss none of it. Instead, I long for the free and open streets, the sound of buses and cars quickly going to and fro and me just taking my time and living the city life...
The first day my stomach was filled with butterflies. I got up extra early, just in case my whole timing thing didn't work out, and got myself to the metro station with no worries. I bought my ticket and stood on the platform ready to start my day. I looked around and thought "the train must be late today". Then I realized that trains were going in two different directions and that I had no clue which way was correct. So I quickly called my DC tour guide, Chris, and got myself on the correct side. I saw the train and the excitement built up inside of me so great I could barely breath. The train pulled in and the door stopped a couple of steps away from and then it started. This stampede that did not end. I was pushed and pulled in all directions. No "excuse me", no "pardon me", nothing....just people pushing and elbowing. I finally got onto the train and took and deep breath and thought " I can't wait to do that again."
Everyday, coming and going, I felt this way. I couldn't get enough of the Metro. I lived for it. The pushing, the shoving, the no "pardon me's". And the experience inside the train was just as great. I'm a huge people watcher so what better place to do so then inside a "tin-can" with an ever changing background and cast of characters.
But just like all good things, when you have too much of something you soon tire of it. I started dating a great guy and soon actually lived with him for about a month. His place was so convenient. I could walk to work, to bars, and even friends house's. It was great. I no longer need to drive, worry about the timing of trains and all the pushing and shoving and the no "pardon me's". I actually grew into someone who hated the Metro. I was a city liver now, I didn't need Public transportation, PT, as my old boss would call it.
Now, I'm no longer dating the great guy that has the convenient apt. So it's back to the Metro for me. It's only been three days and I hate it.....the pushing, the shoving, the no "pardon me's" I miss none of it. Instead, I long for the free and open streets, the sound of buses and cars quickly going to and fro and me just taking my time and living the city life...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
You've Got......
What is it about mail that gets people so happy. I mean no matter what kind of mail it is; e-mail, snail mail, faxes, gifts, even post cards, all of these things give people that feeling that they can't explain. Peering into one's mailbox hoping to find something anything, even it is a bill. Anything is better then nothing at all. Returning from lunch to find an empty inbox is never met with enthusiasm, but instead with a thought that no one was thinking about you while you were gone not even you boss. Is that it, knowing that someone, anyone, cares enough to send you something? I know that I'm as guilty as many others out there. As soon as I come home or get back to my desk, I check to see if there is mail and if not, a sinking feeling comes over me. So too all of you that never send an e-mail, a post card, or even a letter that you've been meaning to send, I say do so because at least someone will know you care.
Monday, May 30, 2005
that's all
So.....this past weekend opened up the Summer Season with a bang that I'm sure was felt all the way to Cali and back.
Let's see......
I remember being at brunch with 15 amazing people and endless amounts of pitchers of alcohol....
I remember secret Long Islands at Jury's....
I remember three thermoboost...
I remember Jr's.....going there not really what happened there...
I remember being at lizard lounge and being a walking prostitute.....
And I remember eating like a fat girl that was just told that she didn't make the second round of auditions of "West Side Story".....
A link to someone else's blog will follow shortly, hold please while we connect you...Transferring
Let's see......
I remember being at brunch with 15 amazing people and endless amounts of pitchers of alcohol....
I remember secret Long Islands at Jury's....
I remember three thermoboost...
I remember Jr's.....going there not really what happened there...
I remember being at lizard lounge and being a walking prostitute.....
And I remember eating like a fat girl that was just told that she didn't make the second round of auditions of "West Side Story".....
A link to someone else's blog will follow shortly, hold please while we connect you...Transferring
Friday, May 27, 2005
These things do 'appen
So......about a year and half ago I decided that I had enough of Pittsburgh and it's lackluster scene. I told myself that it was time for a change, not only in my life, but also in my career. I took a job with a company I knew little about and moved to a city that I had only remembered in drunken hazes. All in all, I have to say that my time here has been one of great exploration of myself and a city that I thought I would never be able to handle.
When I told my friends that I was moving to DC, a lot of them were like "good for you, but are you going to be ok there?" I would just smile and say "Sure, why not." That's when most of them would start telling me about the crime problem, the drugs and the cost of living, things that they thought I would have no clue on how to handle. So I guess in retrospect(I love that word) I never gave any of those things a second thought. If anything I thought I'm packing my bags and my bootleg car and taking my ass to DC, and things will only happen if they were meant to. In being honest with myself, I knew the only thing that I would miss out of everything would be the friends that I had come to make in Pittsburgh (there are things that I will never forget and probably never write about, until my bio comes out). So with only that thought I prepared myself for what was surely going to be a wild ride.
So now, I prepare myself to take on year two, and I can't wait. I have made some amazing friends here, people that I honestly don't think that I can live without. Every time something bad happens and I get into a disgusting funk, I'm reminded of how great my life truly is thru my friends and our amazing times. There was MLKSB '05 trip, a fierce walk-off, and countless nights of chaotic mishaps. And if year one was any test of how great things do 'appen, then I can't wait for year number 3.
When I told my friends that I was moving to DC, a lot of them were like "good for you, but are you going to be ok there?" I would just smile and say "Sure, why not." That's when most of them would start telling me about the crime problem, the drugs and the cost of living, things that they thought I would have no clue on how to handle. So I guess in retrospect(I love that word) I never gave any of those things a second thought. If anything I thought I'm packing my bags and my bootleg car and taking my ass to DC, and things will only happen if they were meant to. In being honest with myself, I knew the only thing that I would miss out of everything would be the friends that I had come to make in Pittsburgh (there are things that I will never forget and probably never write about, until my bio comes out). So with only that thought I prepared myself for what was surely going to be a wild ride.
So now, I prepare myself to take on year two, and I can't wait. I have made some amazing friends here, people that I honestly don't think that I can live without. Every time something bad happens and I get into a disgusting funk, I'm reminded of how great my life truly is thru my friends and our amazing times. There was MLKSB '05 trip, a fierce walk-off, and countless nights of chaotic mishaps. And if year one was any test of how great things do 'appen, then I can't wait for year number 3.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
The next big thing
So I've been thinking more and more about what I did. Quitting the job and all. There are some days when I think it was the best thing I've ever done in my life. Then there are others when I doubt everything I've done in my life. I know that what I did was done for a reason. In the short term I only see that reason as I needed time to take a step back and ask myself what the hell I was doing. But, maybe in the long run I'll never know what the real reason is.
The whole job thing is getting more and more frustrating with each day. I send a least one or two resumes a day out. So I've been out of work for four weeks so that about 50 some odd resumes out there floating around or sitting in someone's trash can. But what more can I do. I could be that crazy person and go knocking down people's doors, but I don't think they would like that too much. (that makes me think of that one movie when the guy sends in his videotape to some college then he doesn't get in so he goes to the school and acts all crazy-can't think of the title, but good movie none-the-less) Random thought
But sometimes that's how I feel.....
In the end I know that all I can do is keep on trucking.....complaining wont get me anywhere, but it sure does feel good.
The whole job thing is getting more and more frustrating with each day. I send a least one or two resumes a day out. So I've been out of work for four weeks so that about 50 some odd resumes out there floating around or sitting in someone's trash can. But what more can I do. I could be that crazy person and go knocking down people's doors, but I don't think they would like that too much. (that makes me think of that one movie when the guy sends in his videotape to some college then he doesn't get in so he goes to the school and acts all crazy-can't think of the title, but good movie none-the-less) Random thought
But sometimes that's how I feel.....
In the end I know that all I can do is keep on trucking.....complaining wont get me anywhere, but it sure does feel good.
Things that come and go
So the other day while watching TV a commercial for "Everybody Loves Raymond" came on. It was talking about how it was the last episode and that got me thinking about all the shows that I've seen come and go. I think the first one I remember was Silver Spoons, little Ricky Schroeder. Then there was Whose the Boss, I tell you what that Tony Danza was some looker back in the day. Then came Saved by the Bell, 90210, the Cosby's, A different world, Senfield, Sex and the City and a host of others. If our lives were measured in TV time, I would be way past ancient....I think that I would have lived multiple lives by now. Thank God there not.
When it rains it pours
So the weather outside has been just a metaphor of my life the past couple of days. It's cold, cloudy most of the day, and it keeps raining.
So I had this job interview last week and I kept telling myself not to get my hopes about this job. To make a long story short I had interviewed with four different people, four different times at this one company only to be told in the end that they didn't think that they were going to be able to offer me a job that was challenging enough for me-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN- I don't think that I asked to be president or anything major, but in the end I guess it wasn't meant to be. Now, I'm back to temping and hating it. It's not so much the temping that I hate, it's the whole "Hi, my name is Nick" part. I can't tell you how many people I've introduced myself to only to have them call me "the temp". Temping is a world all it's own. Made for people I think that want to find themselves while making money....but what are you suppose to do if you already know who you are.
So I had this job interview last week and I kept telling myself not to get my hopes about this job. To make a long story short I had interviewed with four different people, four different times at this one company only to be told in the end that they didn't think that they were going to be able to offer me a job that was challenging enough for me-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN- I don't think that I asked to be president or anything major, but in the end I guess it wasn't meant to be. Now, I'm back to temping and hating it. It's not so much the temping that I hate, it's the whole "Hi, my name is Nick" part. I can't tell you how many people I've introduced myself to only to have them call me "the temp". Temping is a world all it's own. Made for people I think that want to find themselves while making money....but what are you suppose to do if you already know who you are.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Amazing
So last nite was the finale to "The Amazing Race"......words can not explain how amazing it was. If you don't watch the show I will spare you with my season recap and just say that you should really get in on this next season. It's pretty much the same plot as survivor, but instead of the whole voting thing, contestants are booted off the show for coming in last place during different missions.
The couple that won last nite, I don't have words for. During the entire Race, these people never once threw their morals and or values aside for the prize, $1 million. Instead they kept to them. Always willing to lend a helping hand, be it money, advice, or just wisdom. No even in the last minutes of last nites show when they were mere footsteps away from the prize, did they throw everything aside. Instead they begged complete strangers for a cab fare that they owed. Only after they paid did they round the final corner and claim a prize that was rightfully theirs. In a world that has grown so accustomed to letting the "bad guy" win in order to sell one more "coke" or one more "car", we got to see the "good guys" take their moment in the sun. Finally, and that moment was AMAZING
The couple that won last nite, I don't have words for. During the entire Race, these people never once threw their morals and or values aside for the prize, $1 million. Instead they kept to them. Always willing to lend a helping hand, be it money, advice, or just wisdom. No even in the last minutes of last nites show when they were mere footsteps away from the prize, did they throw everything aside. Instead they begged complete strangers for a cab fare that they owed. Only after they paid did they round the final corner and claim a prize that was rightfully theirs. In a world that has grown so accustomed to letting the "bad guy" win in order to sell one more "coke" or one more "car", we got to see the "good guys" take their moment in the sun. Finally, and that moment was AMAZING
Job hunting
So I'm into my third week of no job and I have to tell you that I'm kind of over it.
I've been doing temp stuff and I have to say that I don't think that I can continue this. Everyday I pass homeless people on the street and I have to think about what is keeping me from their shoes...is it determination, needing to be someplace better, or is that I just want it more then they do. What is it that keeps these people homeless???
Yes, I know that a lot of homeless people are in their situation because of mental health issues. But what about those who say they lack the proper job skills and or education. What do you say about those people?? In the end I have to say that it comes down to choices. The choice to want a better life is there for everyone, but it's about making those choices that lead up to that better life that get us all
in the end.
If we choose not to wake up in the morning and go look for a job, but instead stay in bed and wake up at 3 in the afternoon and then complain about not having a job. If we choose to use drugs so much that we become addicted to them and let them control our lives, these are the choices that we make and have to make everyday in order to have that better life.
So I guess I'll choose to keep wanting, keep choosing,the better life.
I've been doing temp stuff and I have to say that I don't think that I can continue this. Everyday I pass homeless people on the street and I have to think about what is keeping me from their shoes...is it determination, needing to be someplace better, or is that I just want it more then they do. What is it that keeps these people homeless???
Yes, I know that a lot of homeless people are in their situation because of mental health issues. But what about those who say they lack the proper job skills and or education. What do you say about those people?? In the end I have to say that it comes down to choices. The choice to want a better life is there for everyone, but it's about making those choices that lead up to that better life that get us all
in the end.
If we choose not to wake up in the morning and go look for a job, but instead stay in bed and wake up at 3 in the afternoon and then complain about not having a job. If we choose to use drugs so much that we become addicted to them and let them control our lives, these are the choices that we make and have to make everyday in order to have that better life.
So I guess I'll choose to keep wanting, keep choosing,the better life.
I've been gone for a min.....
So I had to take a break for a bit there.....after posting a few entries I got some feedback that wasn't so great that made me think about why I'm really writing this blog. It was said that I pour my heart into my entries. Then the other day while watching the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, in his monologue....he made a comment, " Too all those people blogging, NO ONE CARES"....or something like that.
There is no real reason I've decided. It's not like I don't have anyone to talk to about things that go on in my life or anything like that. Actually I have some really amazing friends, who are always willing to listen and give their advice even when it's not asked for. The only reason I came up with during my brief time away, was that I do this so that maybe someone who reads this can say "exactly, I was thinking the same thing", or "that happened to me also." The feeling of knowing that we are not alone during some the hardest times in our lives, I think is one of the best feelings of all. To know that we are not the first nor the last to go thru unemployment, heartache, or even drunken times at strip clubs, makes everything a little easier to sallow at the end of the day before I close my eyes.
So to anyone who says that I pour my heart into this thing or to anyone like Craig Ferguson, who says no one cares.....to you I say........nothing at all, NO ONE CARES...
There is no real reason I've decided. It's not like I don't have anyone to talk to about things that go on in my life or anything like that. Actually I have some really amazing friends, who are always willing to listen and give their advice even when it's not asked for. The only reason I came up with during my brief time away, was that I do this so that maybe someone who reads this can say "exactly, I was thinking the same thing", or "that happened to me also." The feeling of knowing that we are not alone during some the hardest times in our lives, I think is one of the best feelings of all. To know that we are not the first nor the last to go thru unemployment, heartache, or even drunken times at strip clubs, makes everything a little easier to sallow at the end of the day before I close my eyes.
So to anyone who says that I pour my heart into this thing or to anyone like Craig Ferguson, who says no one cares.....to you I say........nothing at all, NO ONE CARES...
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Strip......
So last nite me and the girls went out for what was sure to be interesting times. We make our way to a friends b-day party, which was good. It was at his house and not too many people. Saw some familiar faces and got to reconnect with some others. After one b-day celebration we moved on to another. Only this one was not to be held in a house, but instead at a Strip Club of sorts. Now, I'm not one to venture into places of this kind often, but I have been known to get my groove on at "Hot Chocolate" once or twice, but nothing more then that. I just have never been in love with the thought of naked boys and or girls dancing around. It's just weird to see flopping penis' and or tit's shake to the beat of Janet's latest hits. On top of that the club's here in DC are a little interesting......the things that one can see in places of this nature are not things that I can type about without blushing....
All in all I say if the only way you can get right is to take off all your clothes and dance around naked like there is no tomorrow, then go for. Just not in my face or in my drink...
All in all I say if the only way you can get right is to take off all your clothes and dance around naked like there is no tomorrow, then go for. Just not in my face or in my drink...
Friday, April 29, 2005
Things that PoP
I have decided that I am in love with Pop culture......I can't get enough of it. VH1, love it.....Mtv, can't get enough.....Bravo, I live for it.
For instance, there is a show on Bravo called "Show Dogs, Mom's and Dad's". If you have not seen it I suggest you settle yourself in on a Wed. nite and enjoy the show. It's so good. These people are all showing their dogs at the Philadelphia dog show, but the show focus' on what it takes to get to that point. It's like an amazing ride through crazy town. I love it. There is this really funny "gay" couple on the show that I just watch with awe every episode. To tell the truth the show reminds me of a movie called "Best in Show"....which if you haven't see you need to stop with the craziness. It is so funny...
Another show that I can't live without is ANTM (and if you don't know what that means, I feel for you). It is probably one of my favorite shows on T.V right now. It reminds me a lot of my lost love for Mtv's darling gone dry "Real World"..use to love that show, not so much anymore. Back to ANTM....the show tries to find what else, but America's Next Top Model. I love the show, because unlike Survivor or Big Brother or even The Amazing Race(which I love too) these girls are being put through semi-realistic test that a lot of beginning models go through. But, besides that aspect, the drama is amazing.
My other love, which I don't know how long it will last, American Idol. I have to say that I'm one of the many that text their vote every Tues nite....sometimes multiple times. But in recent days I have started to wonder about the show and the outcome. In the beginning the show really was about talent, who could sing the best while having stage presence. Kelly, I love you and your cd's. But recently, the show has moved from looking for talent to being this popularity contest. For instance (I know that some will be upset with this) Constantine. Now, for those of you who don't know, this young man was in the touring production of "Rent", which I hope means that he is very good at what he does. But his performance on Idol was nothing short of a Drama Queen gone wrong. He always seemed to be putting on a Vegas stage act, instead of just singing and wowing the crowd that way. So he lasted for a while on the show thanks to his groupie following of young girls and I'm sure from the way he walked, even young boys. I fear that Idol has gone from this great PoP show to just Popping......
For instance, there is a show on Bravo called "Show Dogs, Mom's and Dad's". If you have not seen it I suggest you settle yourself in on a Wed. nite and enjoy the show. It's so good. These people are all showing their dogs at the Philadelphia dog show, but the show focus' on what it takes to get to that point. It's like an amazing ride through crazy town. I love it. There is this really funny "gay" couple on the show that I just watch with awe every episode. To tell the truth the show reminds me of a movie called "Best in Show"....which if you haven't see you need to stop with the craziness. It is so funny...
Another show that I can't live without is ANTM (and if you don't know what that means, I feel for you). It is probably one of my favorite shows on T.V right now. It reminds me a lot of my lost love for Mtv's darling gone dry "Real World"..use to love that show, not so much anymore. Back to ANTM....the show tries to find what else, but America's Next Top Model. I love the show, because unlike Survivor or Big Brother or even The Amazing Race(which I love too) these girls are being put through semi-realistic test that a lot of beginning models go through. But, besides that aspect, the drama is amazing.
My other love, which I don't know how long it will last, American Idol. I have to say that I'm one of the many that text their vote every Tues nite....sometimes multiple times. But in recent days I have started to wonder about the show and the outcome. In the beginning the show really was about talent, who could sing the best while having stage presence. Kelly, I love you and your cd's. But recently, the show has moved from looking for talent to being this popularity contest. For instance (I know that some will be upset with this) Constantine. Now, for those of you who don't know, this young man was in the touring production of "Rent", which I hope means that he is very good at what he does. But his performance on Idol was nothing short of a Drama Queen gone wrong. He always seemed to be putting on a Vegas stage act, instead of just singing and wowing the crowd that way. So he lasted for a while on the show thanks to his groupie following of young girls and I'm sure from the way he walked, even young boys. I fear that Idol has gone from this great PoP show to just Popping......
Thursday, April 28, 2005
When's the last time you jumped......
When I was young I loved jumping off of our stairs that led to the basement. I would always start with one step...then two...then five....then I would finally sum up the courage and jump from the top stair. Closing my eyes, holding my breath, and hoping to god that I would land on my feet at the bottom instead of on top of another step or even worse falling competely on my face. There would always be those times that I didn't make it to the bottom of the staiirs....but somehow I would go at it again and start all over...........
So this whole new chapter thing is finding me in a really new place. For the first time in my life I have done what I want...in so many words. A lot of people told me not to quite my job without having one lined up.....but I knew that if I stayed at my past job that I would keep hating myself. You see I have always thought that lfe is way too short to do things that make you unhappy, because when it's all over do you really want to say "Well I only had so many happy times in life that I can really remember." No of course not. I'm not saying that every moment in life needs to be happy, but why waste time in doing things that make us unhappy. I'm over it......
So with that thought I left a job that i had been at for a year that made me unhappy almost everyday that I was there. But the thing was that I wasn't ready to make that full leap, so again I took a job that made me unhappy. And then one day, after working at this new unhappy job for three weeks I called in and quite. I finally closed my eyes and held my breath........and jumped.
From that point on, my life has been in a place that I am unfamiliar with which is probably the best jump that I've made in years.
So this whole new chapter thing is finding me in a really new place. For the first time in my life I have done what I want...in so many words. A lot of people told me not to quite my job without having one lined up.....but I knew that if I stayed at my past job that I would keep hating myself. You see I have always thought that lfe is way too short to do things that make you unhappy, because when it's all over do you really want to say "Well I only had so many happy times in life that I can really remember." No of course not. I'm not saying that every moment in life needs to be happy, but why waste time in doing things that make us unhappy. I'm over it......
So with that thought I left a job that i had been at for a year that made me unhappy almost everyday that I was there. But the thing was that I wasn't ready to make that full leap, so again I took a job that made me unhappy. And then one day, after working at this new unhappy job for three weeks I called in and quite. I finally closed my eyes and held my breath........and jumped.
From that point on, my life has been in a place that I am unfamiliar with which is probably the best jump that I've made in years.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
A New Chapter
So I've always viewed my life as a kind of book that just won't end until I'm dead or no longer able to talk.....neither has happened yet. So a new chapter has started in my life and I have to say that it is the first chapter that I'm truly proud of....well there was the gay chapter, but that doesn't count b/c OBVI that chapter was bound to happen. The newest chapter I'm working on is that of doing what I have a passion for.....meaning work. I recently quite my J.O.B, all b/c I wasn't happy anymore with what I was doing. Problem....a small one considering that I'm a broke bitch and I have no job waiting in the background. But I have to say that I'm glad I took this one moment in life to close my eyes and just jump rather then waiting for something to happen. I have to say that I'm a bit scared by the current unknowns, but I look forward to accepting every new challenge that comes my way.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
TAXES
I am done with this whole tax thing....isn't it enough that I pay taxes on all the latest designs from name brand designers...but to make me do them on my own is a bit much. I mean all the rules, guidelines, deadlines, I'm over it
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Believe it or Not.....This is My First Time
How do I start this.....I have to say that I decided that I should start a blog, because all I do is talk to myself all day long, so why not put those thoughts out to pasture and let the world know how crazy I am. Like today I was driving to work in the VA and talked to myself the whole way to work. And of course I talked about nothing, cops, the blue sky, gas prices and that type. Then I realized that I should just call someone and talk to them. So after a good convo with a good friend about my job situation I hung up the phone and started all over again, except this time the conversation with myself consisted of why people in Va can't drive and how I really didn't want to get out of bed. Oh well......
So I guess my mission with this blog will be to let the world know what this crazy bitch is thinking every now and then. Feel free to share your thoughts and or comments. But trust if you comment you will be sucked into my world and as most can tell you, once you are in you can't get out.
Peace, Love, and Hair Grease to all the fans
So I guess my mission with this blog will be to let the world know what this crazy bitch is thinking every now and then. Feel free to share your thoughts and or comments. But trust if you comment you will be sucked into my world and as most can tell you, once you are in you can't get out.
Peace, Love, and Hair Grease to all the fans
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