I have to get this out of my head cause it is driving me crazy....It's about to be a bit lengthy...so settle in and just read it.
My Jr. year of college I decided to study abroad in Budapest, Hungary. Why did I go there, who knows, a lot of reasons,but....some things just were meant to happen. Anywho....I knew that studying abroad was going to be a time in my life when I would finally confront a lot of my own personal fears about where my life was going. Most importantly, I knew that I was going to confront the issue of being gay. I went over there with an open mind, knowing that for sometime I had these thoughts about being gay, but never really confronting them. I told myself, that this was going to be the chance to live the life that I thought I should have led a while ago.....
Once I arrived in Budapest a group of us made it to our dorm, where we would stay for the next couple of weeks while we were taking language classes. I happen to be on the same flight as one of the other guys that I was staying in a room with. Once we got into the room, we noticed a third bed was set-up and stuff was all around it, but no roommate. I then set-off by myself to see what was around the dorm and to make a couple of phone calls. I unknowingly took the only key to the room with me. When I returned to the room, there on the steps outside of the doorway was the best looking guy that I had ever seen. I stared for what seemed like hours into his eyes, not saying a word, just looking. Finally after snapping out of what felt like coma, I introduced myself and apologized for taking the key. He in return introduced himself, and we both made our way into our room. Over the next couple of days and weeks, I got to know him pretty well. We would talk about all kinds of things; why we were here, where we came from. Then one day, he told me about his girlfriend. At first I didn't know what to do, I just sat there with what I'm sure was the dumbest look on my face. In the same token, I never told him that I was gay, or what at the time was just an attraction towards guys, so why did I expect him to return the favor. From that moment on I told myself, that I would have to respect his boundaries and if he said he had a girlfriend, then he did not find guys attractive as I did. Fine, for the first day or two. But the more we hung out, the more I found myself always waiting to be around him; looking into his eyes, touch him (not even in a sexual manner), but I never did. Instead I found ways to keep myself busy, basically not hanging around him. Eventually I moved out of the dorm and into an amazing apartment with the other two guys that I stayed in the dorm with, him included. I told myself that as long as I stayed away from the apartment when he was there, I would be ok. I did just that by going out every nite. I eventually met someone at a bar and we began seeing each other. I was in the clear as far as my feelings for this guy, who I've decided I will call Rick, cause referring to him by "him" is not working. So I started dating this guy that lived in Budapest and therefore I spent less time around Rick. It was all working out, or so I thought.
Because, Rick and I were in the same study abroad program, we always saw each other in class and on trips. I couldn't get away and neither could my feelings for him. It had been three months since I met him on those steps, unable to speak, only stare. I still liked this guy, why?? I had never tried to make a move on him or anything. If anything we jokingly played around...pushing each other or saying stupid shit to one another, but never once did I try to kiss him or hold his hand. Finally, spring break came, and I decided that I needed time away from all of my feelings, Rick, and the boy I had just broken up with. I decided that I would take a week long trip by myself across nothern Italy and end in the southern coast of France. All in all it was good. Met some really amazing people, saw some great things, and best of all I got all of those feeling out of my head and dealt with, so I thought.
When I arrived back in Budapest, I came home to find Rick there with friends that were preparing to leave. I unpacked my bags and Rick took his friends to the train station. Our other roommate decided to leave the city for spring break, and wouldn't be back until the middle of the following week, therefore it was only Rick and I in the apartment. We decided to get something to eat...which in Budapest means that you decided to get appetizers and drink the rest of your dinner. After what seemed like hours of beers and conversation we made our way back to our apartment, I then started to talk about how I really wanted to go out seeing as though there were no classes the next day. To my surprise he said that he would like to come along if it was ok with me. Here it was, the moment I was waiting for, a chance to be with him and in of all places a gay bar. I told myself, that I wouldn't try anything, not unless he initiated it. We continued to drink until we got ready to go out, which in retrospect, was probably not the best idea. We eventually made our way to the club and started drinking. At first I felt very uncomfortable with him in this bar. I had been there many of times, but never with him. I was worried that he was going to get hit on, and then would want to leave, after all he had a girlfriend. But, by the end of the night, we were having a great time, talking and drinking. I finally summoned up the courage to ask him if he wanted to go dance....he said yes, with little hesitation. As soon as we get to the dance floor everything disappears; no music, no other people, just us. After dancing for what seemed like some time, something happened, we looked at each other as though we just realized that we were both there and we kissed. I don't remember who kissed who, I just know that we kissed and I remember it lasting for sometime. Neither one of us backed down or pulled away....it was as though it was meant to be. After kissing for a while, we decided to leave the club........I'll write this story in parts.......you'll just have to wait.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Riding a bike
So at first I didn't think that I was going to write about this...but then I figured why not, it might help someone...
So last week I was really upset with one of my friends for doing something that I felt was one of the lowest things one person can do to another that they call "friend". To make a long story short, he basically slept with someone that I've had a crush on, a known crush at that, for a while. At first I didn't know what to do or say. I almost felt like that Dave Chappelle skit...."when keeping it real goes wrong", I kept telling myself, to just calm down and don't over-react, but keep it real. I knew the best thing to do was to let everything settle down for a second and to think about what I really wanted to say and do. After talking it over with a couple of friends, it was decided that the best thing to do was to e-mail him all of my thoughts and feelings about the entire situation. Which I felt was good, because I had already decided that I couldn't talk to him face to face, cause I was really upset at the time. In the end I wrote him an e-mail and told him how I felt about the situation and that I thought it best if we didn't talk for a few days. He replied to my e-mail, an apology for hurting me, and we didn't talk for a couple of days. While not talking to him, I thought about how much I missed our conversations....and what our friendship really meant to me. Without him, I probably would be a totally different person, not living where I currently do, and not enjoying life as much. I know, a lot for one friendship. But, I met him at a point in my life were I didn't have any clue on what or where to go or do. It was through our friendship that I answered a lot of those questions. Last Thursday came around and we finally met for drinks and some conversations, and the first thing we did was hug.....it felt good, like riding a bike.....you never forget. In the end I decided that some boy was not worth a friendship that changed my life. Instead, I decided to pick myself up, dust off my feelings and get on that bike again. THANKS...
So last week I was really upset with one of my friends for doing something that I felt was one of the lowest things one person can do to another that they call "friend". To make a long story short, he basically slept with someone that I've had a crush on, a known crush at that, for a while. At first I didn't know what to do or say. I almost felt like that Dave Chappelle skit...."when keeping it real goes wrong", I kept telling myself, to just calm down and don't over-react, but keep it real. I knew the best thing to do was to let everything settle down for a second and to think about what I really wanted to say and do. After talking it over with a couple of friends, it was decided that the best thing to do was to e-mail him all of my thoughts and feelings about the entire situation. Which I felt was good, because I had already decided that I couldn't talk to him face to face, cause I was really upset at the time. In the end I wrote him an e-mail and told him how I felt about the situation and that I thought it best if we didn't talk for a few days. He replied to my e-mail, an apology for hurting me, and we didn't talk for a couple of days. While not talking to him, I thought about how much I missed our conversations....and what our friendship really meant to me. Without him, I probably would be a totally different person, not living where I currently do, and not enjoying life as much. I know, a lot for one friendship. But, I met him at a point in my life were I didn't have any clue on what or where to go or do. It was through our friendship that I answered a lot of those questions. Last Thursday came around and we finally met for drinks and some conversations, and the first thing we did was hug.....it felt good, like riding a bike.....you never forget. In the end I decided that some boy was not worth a friendship that changed my life. Instead, I decided to pick myself up, dust off my feelings and get on that bike again. THANKS...
the newest thing
I recently, thanks to the tempjob that I have, found Yahoo, IM......it is by far one of the most time comsuming, fun times that I've ever had while doing nothing. You can play games with people, create a person that looks like you that others can see when talking, and a host of other things. It is amazing....you should check it out......I think you can just go to their site and download it...
The goings On
So I know that I haven't posted in a while, things have been a little crazy this past week so I had to take a break from something. This way all the crazy thoughts just got stored and now they are ready to come out.
I have somewhat moved from my former address....which in retrospect I'm really going to miss. It was a bit out of the way from the things that I normally do in my life, but I loved it cause it was a house. I have so many friends here and in other cities that live in apartments the size of what use to be my bathroom. It was nice, two bedroom, two bath, two levels......a lot of two's. But it had so much space. I really liked it. But trying to bring tricks and or anyone else back was a bit of a challenge. So I decided to let the lease end without renewing it, in hopes of finding a place closer and more convenient to the things that I do. So we'll see, no luck as of yet, but moving and trying to find a job, has proved to be a bit of a larger task then I first thought.
Speaking of a job, I'm still in the same position as last time I wrote. I still temp at this one place, for whatever reason. I guess cause it's easy money. I really don't do much. When I am given a task to do, I do it a lot faster then most people who have probably had this job, so my boss' look at me like I'm crazy when they pass by....oh well. I have finally gotten another job, which I don't know if I'm going to write about. I might.....that will take some thought on my part. I'm sure that I will have no choice but to write about it. We'll see...if anything it should be good, cause I will have the chance to make some extra money. So.....
Other then that, not much else is going on, I have this new plan in my head to start taking better care of myself. We'll see how that goes. Every once in a while, I tell myself that I'm going to start eating better, working out, and not drink as much, then something crazy happens ......i.e., quit my job or some stupid boy, then I say "fuck it" and forget about taking care of myself. Just lately I've been really unhappy with my body. It's not like I weigh 300lbs or anything, but after I graduated from high school my body was so much better....I hate getting older. So I've decided that I'm going to join a gym next week....would this week, but I'm still in the process of moving and I really don't have time. Next week should be a lot more calmer...we'll see
I have somewhat moved from my former address....which in retrospect I'm really going to miss. It was a bit out of the way from the things that I normally do in my life, but I loved it cause it was a house. I have so many friends here and in other cities that live in apartments the size of what use to be my bathroom. It was nice, two bedroom, two bath, two levels......a lot of two's. But it had so much space. I really liked it. But trying to bring tricks and or anyone else back was a bit of a challenge. So I decided to let the lease end without renewing it, in hopes of finding a place closer and more convenient to the things that I do. So we'll see, no luck as of yet, but moving and trying to find a job, has proved to be a bit of a larger task then I first thought.
Speaking of a job, I'm still in the same position as last time I wrote. I still temp at this one place, for whatever reason. I guess cause it's easy money. I really don't do much. When I am given a task to do, I do it a lot faster then most people who have probably had this job, so my boss' look at me like I'm crazy when they pass by....oh well. I have finally gotten another job, which I don't know if I'm going to write about. I might.....that will take some thought on my part. I'm sure that I will have no choice but to write about it. We'll see...if anything it should be good, cause I will have the chance to make some extra money. So.....
Other then that, not much else is going on, I have this new plan in my head to start taking better care of myself. We'll see how that goes. Every once in a while, I tell myself that I'm going to start eating better, working out, and not drink as much, then something crazy happens ......i.e., quit my job or some stupid boy, then I say "fuck it" and forget about taking care of myself. Just lately I've been really unhappy with my body. It's not like I weigh 300lbs or anything, but after I graduated from high school my body was so much better....I hate getting older. So I've decided that I'm going to join a gym next week....would this week, but I'm still in the process of moving and I really don't have time. Next week should be a lot more calmer...we'll see
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Anew
So,
Yesterday I have to say was one of the worst days in my life in the past 5months. With the whole job thing kind of falling through, I just got to thinking that maybe I made the mistake.....maybe this time it was my fault and not someone else's. So, I tried my first crack at being an alcoholic. Overall, not fun. I don't see how people do it. I mean I probably had 5 beers and two shots and after it was all said and done I just felt like shit. Don't think I will be doing that again. I even met my friends out and even they couldn't cheer me up (which means that something was def. wrong) So I grabbed a cab with Bernie and headed home around 10pm. Once I departed Bernie, I started to walk home and turned on my Shuffle; the first song that came on was D-child's "Happy Face".....I remember before I left for college, my mom, sister, and I were in the car going somewhere and this song came on. My sister immediately turned up the radio and her and my mom started to jam out to the song....if you don't know it here are some lyrics;
I woke up this morning,
The sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I'm living, I'm able,
I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face......
Sometimes, it gets tough,
It gets tough
But I can't give up,
Can't give up
Just take a deep breath,
Close my eyes
Feel the love and
Give a smile
Here I was in the back of my mom's Accord looking at two grown women singing as though they came up with the lyrics. After the song ended I asked my mom how she knew the words ( my sister is a huge Dchild's fan) My mom told me that she heard my sister listening to the song one day and really connected to the words, she was having a bad day. So she went on to tell me that whenever she is having a down day, or things aren't going her way she listens to the song and comes out feeling like a totally different person. I just sat there and thought....."is this my mom".
The next song after "happy face" was one of my favorites..."You can't always get what you want" by the Rolling Stones. Now, if you don't know this song, I will forgive you this one time. Here are some lyrics....
I went down to the chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with mr. jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to mr. jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was dead
I said to him....
You can’'t always get what you want
You can'’t always get what you want
You can'’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
This song I had heard a long time ago, but when I went to school it was a favorite of my fraternity’s. The words always make me thing that sometimes no matter what you do, something’s don't work out. And, in the end that's ok.....because they will at some point as long as you keep trying.
Hearing these two songs put my whole shitty day into perspective. Did I do the right thing in quitting my job, hell yeah. Is it going to be hard getting a new one, hell yeah. But, as long as I don't give up, keep trying, and keep a smile on my face with my chin up, everything will be ok.
Thank God for Destiny's Child and the Rolling Stones
Yesterday I have to say was one of the worst days in my life in the past 5months. With the whole job thing kind of falling through, I just got to thinking that maybe I made the mistake.....maybe this time it was my fault and not someone else's. So, I tried my first crack at being an alcoholic. Overall, not fun. I don't see how people do it. I mean I probably had 5 beers and two shots and after it was all said and done I just felt like shit. Don't think I will be doing that again. I even met my friends out and even they couldn't cheer me up (which means that something was def. wrong) So I grabbed a cab with Bernie and headed home around 10pm. Once I departed Bernie, I started to walk home and turned on my Shuffle; the first song that came on was D-child's "Happy Face".....I remember before I left for college, my mom, sister, and I were in the car going somewhere and this song came on. My sister immediately turned up the radio and her and my mom started to jam out to the song....if you don't know it here are some lyrics;
I woke up this morning,
The sunshine was shining
I put on my happy face
I'm living, I'm able,
I'm breathing, I'm grateful
To put on my happy face......
Sometimes, it gets tough,
It gets tough
But I can't give up,
Can't give up
Just take a deep breath,
Close my eyes
Feel the love and
Give a smile
Here I was in the back of my mom's Accord looking at two grown women singing as though they came up with the lyrics. After the song ended I asked my mom how she knew the words ( my sister is a huge Dchild's fan) My mom told me that she heard my sister listening to the song one day and really connected to the words, she was having a bad day. So she went on to tell me that whenever she is having a down day, or things aren't going her way she listens to the song and comes out feeling like a totally different person. I just sat there and thought....."is this my mom".
The next song after "happy face" was one of my favorites..."You can't always get what you want" by the Rolling Stones. Now, if you don't know this song, I will forgive you this one time. Here are some lyrics....
I went down to the chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with mr. jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to mr. jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was dead
I said to him....
You can’'t always get what you want
You can'’t always get what you want
You can'’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
This song I had heard a long time ago, but when I went to school it was a favorite of my fraternity’s. The words always make me thing that sometimes no matter what you do, something’s don't work out. And, in the end that's ok.....because they will at some point as long as you keep trying.
Hearing these two songs put my whole shitty day into perspective. Did I do the right thing in quitting my job, hell yeah. Is it going to be hard getting a new one, hell yeah. But, as long as I don't give up, keep trying, and keep a smile on my face with my chin up, everything will be ok.
Thank God for Destiny's Child and the Rolling Stones
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Update
So......here is where I am.
The job that was offered to me has been pushed back until mid-august. Because I am contracted thru a staffing company, the current company I am at does not want to buy me out of my contract, therefore if they wait until mid-august they won't have to. So the short story is that I will continue working at my current job until mid-august. When that time comes, if they still want me they will offer me the position. So.....basically I'm still without a job. Life sucks...on top of that I'm feeling very shitty today and just want to go back to bed. Oh well.....
The job that was offered to me has been pushed back until mid-august. Because I am contracted thru a staffing company, the current company I am at does not want to buy me out of my contract, therefore if they wait until mid-august they won't have to. So the short story is that I will continue working at my current job until mid-august. When that time comes, if they still want me they will offer me the position. So.....basically I'm still without a job. Life sucks...on top of that I'm feeling very shitty today and just want to go back to bed. Oh well.....
Thursday, July 07, 2005
How do I know
Every time I think of this phrase I hear little Whitney in my head......"How do I know..." then put my own words into the following chorus and verses'. Fun I know.. Well know I'm asking myself "how do I know what to do next." Here's the story....I have been temping at this place for some time now. I think that I've been here since the middle of may and now it's almost the middle of July. Go figure....anywho. Now, the place that I'm temping at wants me to work here full time. And, of course I don't know what to do. It's not like I do anything super hard here. I do admin stuff, which is actually pretty nice. My boss is great. Never really on my back about stuff, plus I kind of get things done when I want. There are two things wrong with the job though; 1. It's not very hard, the work that is. 2. It's not really what I want to do. But as soon as I list reason #2 I think to myself, what else am I going to do. I've been unemployed for damn near 5 months and I'm so tired of it. I want benefits, a place that I can call work, instead of picking up my checks every week in a different place. I hate it. But, I don't know if it's the right thing to do. I'm still looking for a job in recruiting, but to no avail I've found nothing. All the places that I've interviewed with are like, you just don't have enough experience. So I'm like, maybe I should get back into buying. I know that I can do it, it just has to be at the right place. So I've still been interviewing for a couple of buying jobs, but nothing there either. So I guess the question is, do I go for the for sure thing, by the way nothing is for sure or do I keep climbing a hill that doesn't seem to have an end to it and keep looking for a job in something that I want??? For right now, it's going to remain a question......
Friday, July 01, 2005
Memories...
I love the song "memories" from the movie "the way we were".......but somehow, not one of the memories from San Fran are water-colored, instead they are all live and in color in my head and I can't help but to laugh every time I think about my short time out there for pride. So, like some of my buddies here are my Top Ten reasons to go to San Francisco Pride, but of course these things will only happen when you bring us along....
10. A placed called "Daddy's" is always fun after you have been at a BOGO happy hour for two hours
9. The Golden gate bridge is always an amazing backdrop for all sorts of pic
8. BOGO drink specials can never be passed up
7. Nothing says gay like a "Pink Party", where there isn't so much pink, but a whole lot of Party.
6. Waking up at 11pm to go party until 6am is always a good idea
5. Walking tours of San Francisco are offered at 6am on parade mornings
4. You may get to see Deborah Cox in the same outfit
3. Tinker Tank Tinker Tank
2. Only in a City miles away from where you live will you run into a grown man that denies being at a bar you go to every week
1. Nothing makes you slide across a floor further then linoleum tile
10. A placed called "Daddy's" is always fun after you have been at a BOGO happy hour for two hours
9. The Golden gate bridge is always an amazing backdrop for all sorts of pic
8. BOGO drink specials can never be passed up
7. Nothing says gay like a "Pink Party", where there isn't so much pink, but a whole lot of Party.
6. Waking up at 11pm to go party until 6am is always a good idea
5. Walking tours of San Francisco are offered at 6am on parade mornings
4. You may get to see Deborah Cox in the same outfit
3. Tinker Tank Tinker Tank
2. Only in a City miles away from where you live will you run into a grown man that denies being at a bar you go to every week
1. Nothing makes you slide across a floor further then linoleum tile
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I need a VA-CA
So pride season is over for another year.....no more parties, no more opening and closing parties, just memories now. So many that I'm too tired to write about them. I will fill you in on all of what San Fran had to offer in a little bit. I'll just tell you this, we went to a club that opens on Friday nite at 10pm and doesn't close until Sunday at 8pm.....trust, you'll love the stories.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
BreakDowns
Today while running some errands with Chaz, this woman in the bank was having a complete breakdown, in the middle of the bank. I kept telling Chaz how someone should go over there and slap her back into reality. I told him how women, especially women, should not have break downs in public. A lady, does not cry or show emotions in public, instead she will wait until she is in the privacy of her own bedroom, and only then cry if it's necessary. As much as I was joking at the time, I was being kind of serious. Think about it, if someone was there to slap Mariah a little sooner, we wouldn't have had to sit thru "Charm Bracelet" and "Glitter". Instead she had a break down in public and did all that stupid shit. Finally someone walked in her room and slapped that bitch back into reality. Now, we have the "Emancipation of MiMi", which is among one of her best albums, yet. Whitney is the same way. If someone would have slapped her back to reality when she met Bobby Brown, she would have never gotten married to that crack head. There would have been no crack sweats on national TV or during concerts and/or award shows. It seems with her, that someone is there trying to slap her just a little bit,maybe afraid to hurt her or her voice, but I just don't think that they are doing it hard enough. The bitch needs a good ol'e Black mama slap. You know the kind you got when you rolled your eyes or accidentally said "shit" or "fuck" to your mom. And, she back-handed the shit out of you. That's what Whitney needs, anyone up for slapping that bitch??
Words and their power
So if I have learned one thing from having the blog for a couple of months, it's that people take every word of it for real. Sometimes, the way that people tell me that they read my blog, you would think that God himself had taken time out of his day to right this thing. If you know me, like most people who read this blog, I'm not a very serious person, most of the time. There are somethings that I discuss on here that point no fingers and get right to the point. They are serious in tone and manner. But, the majority of the stuff written on here is stupid stuff that goes on in my life. Some of the details are exaggerated, some or not. Sometimes it's just a case of you having to have been there to get how stupid and "out of hand" me and my friends can get. Let's not forget, that I write as it comes out of my head, not everything gets the double check or even edited for that matter. So if I say anything that offends you, gets under your skin, or you feel as though you are being attacked in general, please drop me an e-mail, come talk to me, before you assume anything. Because, as my tells me to this day....."When you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME......
I can't even
I can not handle today......
Tomorrow I leave for San Francisco, for Gay Pride and I can not wait. I went last year and had an amazing time. The parties, the boys, the scene, it was all such a great time, especially for a boy from St. Louis.
Growing up I always watched on the news the Gay Pride events that happened across the country; from New York to San Francisco. Of course, my mother would be in the background saying how silly all those people looked with their rainbow flags and or leather chaps. But, something in me always told me that I would be one of those people one day, holding that rainbow flag and a big ole smile on my face.
The first time I went to a gay bar I was living in Budapest, Hungary. I had always heard about them; the bouncing music, the boys with no shirts, and of course the drugs. Somehow I didn't believe any of this. I had pictured in my mind instead that the media had placed all these images in people's minds to get them turned off about gay culture in general. Boy was I wrong. The first club I went to was called Angel. It is one of Budapest oldest gay bars, so old that it's actually under ground. It was built that way, because when Hungary was a communist state, it wasn't really that cool to be gay nor seen in a gay bar. So they built the club with an upstairs part that was just a bar and a showroom for drag show and/or other performances. This way if they ever got busted by the cops, they could just pretend that it was a normal club. The dance floor on the other hand is underground. You actually can see the hole that was dug to build the dance floor. It smells as though you have just dug a million miles below the earth and at the end there is this great dance floor. I walk in there for the first time with a kid that I really didn't know that well from my study abroad program and this other girl. She was such a faghag, but I love her. He on the other hand was a dick....We would later fuck around once and after that I/he lost interest in the whole thing after I got my first "boyfriend". Anywho....side note....
The club smelled of men. It's an odor that can't really be described....kind of a mixture of must, sweat, and a bunch of different colognes. Either way the smell is intoxicating, for me anyway. As I make my way through the club, I notice that people are staring at me a little more then what I'm use to, then I notice that I'm the only black guy in the place. For me this is nothing strange and/or unusual. I don't really ever pay attention to things like this, but this time it was different, it was if I was a lost treasure or maybe an oddity. Either way I decided not to let it bother me and to just enjoy myself, after all it was my first gay bar. The guy I cam in with bought me a drink and we made our way thru the club. I wanted to stop and look/notice every little thing; the people, the drag queens, the music, I wanted to take it all in. After sitting upstairs for a while, we decided to make our way to the dance floor. In order to get there we had to go down what looked like a mine shaft, complete with jagged rocks from the wall while you descended the stairs. We made our way down there and I thought I had found heaven. The music was blasting, everyone had a drink in their hand, and almost every guy down there had their shirt off. It was everything that it was made out to be. I couldn't help myself, I don't know whether it was the alcohol that was running through my system or the fact that my body was experiencing pure joy, but I hit that dance floor so hard that I immediately started to sweat. After dancing for what seemed like hours, I decided to take a break and look for the people that I had come with, they had long left me to enjoy my self, by myself. I found them upstairs sitting down enjoying a drink and talking about all things politics. As soon as I heard President Bush's name I decided that I was not going to let my night end like this. I picked up my drink and marched right back to the dance floor. I don't know when it happened, but somehow I was now dancing with an older gentleman who had his shirt off and nothing but muscles underneath. After persuading me that I had a nice body, I took my shirt off also and felt as though I had just sighed the biggest sigh ever. The next time I looked at my watch it was well after 3am and I thought that I better find my friends. I went back upstairs and frantically searched for them, but to no end they were not to be found. I made my way to the corner of the bar and called the guy who came with me. He informed me that after they saw me sweating with this older guy with no shirt on, they were sure that I didn't need them anymore and it would be best if they left. Needless to say I was pissed and a little scared.
As much as I had enjoyed myself, being there in the moment. I was brought back to reality very quickly...I no longer heard the music or saw the boys, instead now I was thinking about how I was going to get home. I decided to take a seat and figure out a plan. I didn't exactly remember how we got to this club in a dark alley, but I knew that we hadn't spent that much time in the cab from my place. So I knew I was somewhat close enough to walk and or take a cab. As I was formulating a plan, the guy I had been dancing with had joined me at the table. I didn't even notice that he had sat down. When I finally noticed him, he had the biggest smile on his face. Now, I know what your saying..."hello stupid, this man is trying to take you home and get some booty." But somehow I felt different about him. Even though this was my first time in a Gay Bar, it was not my first time with a man. I decided that I had nothing else better to do, so why not talk to him for a minute. After talking for an hour, I found out that he was actually a principal at a local middle school and that he was an olympic bodybuilder. So of course I was intrigued now. We talked a little while longer and I noticed that it was not a quater to five. I knew that it was time for me to go home. As I got ready to tell Stephen ( that would be the name of over half the men in Budapest) I was heading home, he asked if I would like a ride home. Now, again, I know what you are saying...."why are you going to get in this man's car, you don't even know him, and you are not even in America. Who knows where he would take you and leave you." But of course I had watched Oprah a lot before I left for Hungary, and I remembered a show where she talked about being safe when you meet people for the first time. So I text my roommate the name of this guy and his number and also that he was taking me home. Once we made our way to his car, we talked some more and in the end I woke up next to him at his place.
Everything that I had heard about gay clubs, read about them all seemed true when I woke up that morning. Me and Stephen talked some more that morning before he took me home, and in the end we actually dated for four months. So as I get ready to go to Gay clubs and bars again, I will have that feeling; that excitement, wanting to take everything in, notice everything...and who knows, maybe even wakeup next to someone.
Tomorrow I leave for San Francisco, for Gay Pride and I can not wait. I went last year and had an amazing time. The parties, the boys, the scene, it was all such a great time, especially for a boy from St. Louis.
Growing up I always watched on the news the Gay Pride events that happened across the country; from New York to San Francisco. Of course, my mother would be in the background saying how silly all those people looked with their rainbow flags and or leather chaps. But, something in me always told me that I would be one of those people one day, holding that rainbow flag and a big ole smile on my face.
The first time I went to a gay bar I was living in Budapest, Hungary. I had always heard about them; the bouncing music, the boys with no shirts, and of course the drugs. Somehow I didn't believe any of this. I had pictured in my mind instead that the media had placed all these images in people's minds to get them turned off about gay culture in general. Boy was I wrong. The first club I went to was called Angel. It is one of Budapest oldest gay bars, so old that it's actually under ground. It was built that way, because when Hungary was a communist state, it wasn't really that cool to be gay nor seen in a gay bar. So they built the club with an upstairs part that was just a bar and a showroom for drag show and/or other performances. This way if they ever got busted by the cops, they could just pretend that it was a normal club. The dance floor on the other hand is underground. You actually can see the hole that was dug to build the dance floor. It smells as though you have just dug a million miles below the earth and at the end there is this great dance floor. I walk in there for the first time with a kid that I really didn't know that well from my study abroad program and this other girl. She was such a faghag, but I love her. He on the other hand was a dick....We would later fuck around once and after that I/he lost interest in the whole thing after I got my first "boyfriend". Anywho....side note....
The club smelled of men. It's an odor that can't really be described....kind of a mixture of must, sweat, and a bunch of different colognes. Either way the smell is intoxicating, for me anyway. As I make my way through the club, I notice that people are staring at me a little more then what I'm use to, then I notice that I'm the only black guy in the place. For me this is nothing strange and/or unusual. I don't really ever pay attention to things like this, but this time it was different, it was if I was a lost treasure or maybe an oddity. Either way I decided not to let it bother me and to just enjoy myself, after all it was my first gay bar. The guy I cam in with bought me a drink and we made our way thru the club. I wanted to stop and look/notice every little thing; the people, the drag queens, the music, I wanted to take it all in. After sitting upstairs for a while, we decided to make our way to the dance floor. In order to get there we had to go down what looked like a mine shaft, complete with jagged rocks from the wall while you descended the stairs. We made our way down there and I thought I had found heaven. The music was blasting, everyone had a drink in their hand, and almost every guy down there had their shirt off. It was everything that it was made out to be. I couldn't help myself, I don't know whether it was the alcohol that was running through my system or the fact that my body was experiencing pure joy, but I hit that dance floor so hard that I immediately started to sweat. After dancing for what seemed like hours, I decided to take a break and look for the people that I had come with, they had long left me to enjoy my self, by myself. I found them upstairs sitting down enjoying a drink and talking about all things politics. As soon as I heard President Bush's name I decided that I was not going to let my night end like this. I picked up my drink and marched right back to the dance floor. I don't know when it happened, but somehow I was now dancing with an older gentleman who had his shirt off and nothing but muscles underneath. After persuading me that I had a nice body, I took my shirt off also and felt as though I had just sighed the biggest sigh ever. The next time I looked at my watch it was well after 3am and I thought that I better find my friends. I went back upstairs and frantically searched for them, but to no end they were not to be found. I made my way to the corner of the bar and called the guy who came with me. He informed me that after they saw me sweating with this older guy with no shirt on, they were sure that I didn't need them anymore and it would be best if they left. Needless to say I was pissed and a little scared.
As much as I had enjoyed myself, being there in the moment. I was brought back to reality very quickly...I no longer heard the music or saw the boys, instead now I was thinking about how I was going to get home. I decided to take a seat and figure out a plan. I didn't exactly remember how we got to this club in a dark alley, but I knew that we hadn't spent that much time in the cab from my place. So I knew I was somewhat close enough to walk and or take a cab. As I was formulating a plan, the guy I had been dancing with had joined me at the table. I didn't even notice that he had sat down. When I finally noticed him, he had the biggest smile on his face. Now, I know what your saying..."hello stupid, this man is trying to take you home and get some booty." But somehow I felt different about him. Even though this was my first time in a Gay Bar, it was not my first time with a man. I decided that I had nothing else better to do, so why not talk to him for a minute. After talking for an hour, I found out that he was actually a principal at a local middle school and that he was an olympic bodybuilder. So of course I was intrigued now. We talked a little while longer and I noticed that it was not a quater to five. I knew that it was time for me to go home. As I got ready to tell Stephen ( that would be the name of over half the men in Budapest) I was heading home, he asked if I would like a ride home. Now, again, I know what you are saying...."why are you going to get in this man's car, you don't even know him, and you are not even in America. Who knows where he would take you and leave you." But of course I had watched Oprah a lot before I left for Hungary, and I remembered a show where she talked about being safe when you meet people for the first time. So I text my roommate the name of this guy and his number and also that he was taking me home. Once we made our way to his car, we talked some more and in the end I woke up next to him at his place.
Everything that I had heard about gay clubs, read about them all seemed true when I woke up that morning. Me and Stephen talked some more that morning before he took me home, and in the end we actually dated for four months. So as I get ready to go to Gay clubs and bars again, I will have that feeling; that excitement, wanting to take everything in, notice everything...and who knows, maybe even wakeup next to someone.
Monday, June 20, 2005
the weekend that was
This past weekend had all the intent of being one that would not "get out of hand." But like many things, it didn't happen. Thurs. my friend Chuck's mom was in town. I have to say that I am a lover of mom's. If your mom is cool and loves to laugh, we will be best friends. So needless to say, Chuck's mom loves to laugh. So Bernie and myself met Chuck and his mom at this breeder bar. Something told us that as much as we love Jr's, it probably wasn't the place to takes ones mom. In the end, it was a really good time. We drank our faces off. For some reason, Bernie thought it would be a good idea to start the night with Jack and Coke, little did he know that our night would end with us having drank about 5 or 6 of them. The whole time there, Chuck's mom was telling stories and drinking. It was great to see his mom, be herself in front of two people that she only met once. By the end of the night we were all shitfaced and ready to leave the bar. At one point we thought about sleeping in the bar, but then decided against it. After leaving the breeder bar, Bernie and I thought it would be a good idea to head to Jr's, for what I don't know, but needless to say we got there just in time to take the free 12 o'clock shot. To bad we didn't take it, probably because we were already pretty drunk.
Friday, saw us start the night at Lauriol Plaza. Now as I have written before, you are always in for a good time when you start you evening there. I met Bernie there for a drink or two, which in turn turned into three pitchers. Luckily, Chuck and Chris showed up. On second thought I don't think it was that lucky, cause we still ended up pretty wasted. After leaving Lauriol, Bernie and myself needed to go home and change for the evening. Of course we could not end the night here like any sane person would have. Since I don't have a car anymore.....that is another story, not really just got rid of the bootlegg...anyway, Bernie thought it would be a good idea to walk home. Now, the problem is not so much the walking, the walk itself is not long at all about 20-25 walk. The problem comes when are intoxicated and unable to walk. So after screaming at Bernie for trying to make me walk, we hoped in a cab and hoped right back in on after changing. We made our way back to Jr's, I can't really tell you much of what happened, cause I don't remember it. I know that Chris couldn't keep his eyes open and instead used a man he didn't know as a pole that he could make out with....that's all I'll say. The night ended, with little fanfare, I honestly don't remember.
Sat, Bernie and I decided that we would make something out of ourselves, since the past couple of days had been spent drinking. We walked from Bernie's to the Zoo, headed out with manurse's that had apples and water. Don't know how long of a walk is, but I know that in all we walked for about four hours when it was said and done. I had never been to the zoo before in DC, so it was a good time. We saw some kind of rodent do a move that many of my friends are familiar with. After much running around and sniffing of her partners butt, she arched her back perfectly in the air and allowed him to do his business (that line is from color purple, if you haven't seen the movie, may God have mercy on your soul.) It was a good way to end our trip to the zoo. After the Zoo, Bernie and I walked to get something to eat, organic Chinese food, it was treat your body right day after all. Then, we walked to the circle and meet up with Chuck and his mom. It's been a while since I've seen a parent with a hangover, I think it was homecoming last year, but needless to say, she and chuck were both fun to talk to. After the circle went to see "Batman Begins"......really good movie, a lot better then I thought it was going to be. I love Christian Bale and now want to have his kids. After the movie, made our way back to Jr's and then went home. All in all a good day, not being drunk and all
Sunday, I decided that I would spend some time with self. Caught up on some reading and watched some good looking men pass by. Meet some friends and ended up but where else, JR's.
I have to say all in all this weekend belonged to JR's....I'll miss it when I leave for San Fran on Thurs, so maybe it was suppose to be that this weekend was devoted to Jr's and all it's craziness. God bless it...
Friday, saw us start the night at Lauriol Plaza. Now as I have written before, you are always in for a good time when you start you evening there. I met Bernie there for a drink or two, which in turn turned into three pitchers. Luckily, Chuck and Chris showed up. On second thought I don't think it was that lucky, cause we still ended up pretty wasted. After leaving Lauriol, Bernie and myself needed to go home and change for the evening. Of course we could not end the night here like any sane person would have. Since I don't have a car anymore.....that is another story, not really just got rid of the bootlegg...anyway, Bernie thought it would be a good idea to walk home. Now, the problem is not so much the walking, the walk itself is not long at all about 20-25 walk. The problem comes when are intoxicated and unable to walk. So after screaming at Bernie for trying to make me walk, we hoped in a cab and hoped right back in on after changing. We made our way back to Jr's, I can't really tell you much of what happened, cause I don't remember it. I know that Chris couldn't keep his eyes open and instead used a man he didn't know as a pole that he could make out with....that's all I'll say. The night ended, with little fanfare, I honestly don't remember.
Sat, Bernie and I decided that we would make something out of ourselves, since the past couple of days had been spent drinking. We walked from Bernie's to the Zoo, headed out with manurse's that had apples and water. Don't know how long of a walk is, but I know that in all we walked for about four hours when it was said and done. I had never been to the zoo before in DC, so it was a good time. We saw some kind of rodent do a move that many of my friends are familiar with. After much running around and sniffing of her partners butt, she arched her back perfectly in the air and allowed him to do his business (that line is from color purple, if you haven't seen the movie, may God have mercy on your soul.) It was a good way to end our trip to the zoo. After the Zoo, Bernie and I walked to get something to eat, organic Chinese food, it was treat your body right day after all. Then, we walked to the circle and meet up with Chuck and his mom. It's been a while since I've seen a parent with a hangover, I think it was homecoming last year, but needless to say, she and chuck were both fun to talk to. After the circle went to see "Batman Begins"......really good movie, a lot better then I thought it was going to be. I love Christian Bale and now want to have his kids. After the movie, made our way back to Jr's and then went home. All in all a good day, not being drunk and all
Sunday, I decided that I would spend some time with self. Caught up on some reading and watched some good looking men pass by. Meet some friends and ended up but where else, JR's.
I have to say all in all this weekend belonged to JR's....I'll miss it when I leave for San Fran on Thurs, so maybe it was suppose to be that this weekend was devoted to Jr's and all it's craziness. God bless it...
Monday, June 13, 2005
Time to let go...
Have you ever come to a point in your life, when you say to yourself "it's time to let go and move on". I am the type of person who hates to give up on things....be it people, jobs, relationships, and/or life in general. I will hold on to the very last minute. Be the last person standing. And for what reason, so I can say that I tried, that I didn't give up. So I can be right. Too many times, I've been burned, hurt, by holding on...not wanting to let go. But, it's time to now.....it's time for me to stand up and do my best Miss America wave and bow out graciously. I've tried and tried and to no end, nothing. Just me at the end of the day/nite, always alone, always holding on. Not anymore...
Pride and Proud
This past weekend was Capitol Pride. I love Pride week so much, because you get to see so many people that don't usually come out to the bars and/or streets. Me and the girls actually started our Pride week on Tues (see blog) so when friday came around of course we were ready to go. We decided to start at Chucks place with a couple of drinks before we hit the streets. Then it was off to Cobalt. Not going to lie, we gave it to the fans hard and then some. Some had religious experiences, "Get Up", I live for it. Others had some other kinds of experiences, he had a boyfriend and that's all I'll say. So needless to say Friday really kicked things off the right way.
After a slow start on Sat. morning.....some watched porn, while others tried to re-tell stories....we decided to hit the streets and do a little shopping before the parade. Side note....I'm a little disappointed with this summer's fashion assortment for men. Everywhere you go; H&M, Gap, Snatchercrombie, Express, everywhere.....just disappointment all around. Anywho....after the shopping or lack there of, we decided it best to rest up a little and wait for the storm that was about to hit a little place called Velvet Nation, and by rest up I mean drink a lot (don't drink 151 and then go out into the sun, not a good idea). We made our way down to the parade and like last year only saw a tad bit, before deciding to go into JR's and watch or not watch from there. After some drinking, watching naked boys pass by on floats, and some touching of strangers, we went home to regroup for the rest of the nite. Now, for those of you who know me, I love going to Nation when there is a good DJ and of course I always have a good time, "always". But, this time around me and the girls were forced into a situation that is very unfamiliar to us, being "sober" at Velvet. Please, don't think we didn't try, cause some would say that we were on a such a mission that we could've worked for the CIA, but that is neither here nor there. I have to say all in all, it was probably one the best times I have ever had at that place, besides when Tom Stephan was there.....a DJ saved my life that nite. We burned a hole in that damn dance floor and it probably will not be the same for some time. Side note #2.....dear Chris Cox, you are a very good DJ, I like you. But, if you ever try to pull that guitar shit again at a gay establishment, I will not only come on stage and beat you to death with it, I will also ask for my money back. Anywho....the nite ended around 5am and it was time for some rest before our final performance on Sunday.
When I woke up on Sunday my body ached, as though I had just got out of plastic surgery. I thought that Sunday would be a day that would just go by kind of slow, maybe some sitting in the Circle, catching up on last nite and then a little later going down to the festival, and ending it with Jr's.....oh not,not the way it went at all, not with the bitches I know. I got a call from Bernie telling me that we were going to meet some friends at brunch. I don't know if I've ever talked about brunch, but we go to this place called the Beacon. It's amazing, the food, the service, and on top of all that it's all you can eat and DRINK for $17.95. When you start your day with an all you can drink brunch, you are bound to be in for all kinds of SHENANIGANS from; who can give the best head, to talk of eating ass.....it was all there and it was all fabulous and amazing. After brunch we hit up Universal Queer for some eye protection. Afterwards, we hit the Pride Festival just in time to hear our girl Deborah Cox. Girlfriend was looking fierce and her voice was amazing....I live for her and can't wait to see her again in two weeks in San Fran. After staying in the heat for as long as we could, some of us sweat way too much for our own good....damn Thermoboost.....it was time to hit up our usual Sunday nite spot, Jr's. With $2 vodka drinks flowing and good friends all around, I decided to call it a nite around 9pm.
This morning I got to thinking and laughing about this past weekend and all that went on. In the end I realized that Pride is so much more then just some great parties and a parade, it's about friends. Without them, there would be nothing to be Proud of....
After a slow start on Sat. morning.....some watched porn, while others tried to re-tell stories....we decided to hit the streets and do a little shopping before the parade. Side note....I'm a little disappointed with this summer's fashion assortment for men. Everywhere you go; H&M, Gap, Snatchercrombie, Express, everywhere.....just disappointment all around. Anywho....after the shopping or lack there of, we decided it best to rest up a little and wait for the storm that was about to hit a little place called Velvet Nation, and by rest up I mean drink a lot (don't drink 151 and then go out into the sun, not a good idea). We made our way down to the parade and like last year only saw a tad bit, before deciding to go into JR's and watch or not watch from there. After some drinking, watching naked boys pass by on floats, and some touching of strangers, we went home to regroup for the rest of the nite. Now, for those of you who know me, I love going to Nation when there is a good DJ and of course I always have a good time, "always". But, this time around me and the girls were forced into a situation that is very unfamiliar to us, being "sober" at Velvet. Please, don't think we didn't try, cause some would say that we were on a such a mission that we could've worked for the CIA, but that is neither here nor there. I have to say all in all, it was probably one the best times I have ever had at that place, besides when Tom Stephan was there.....a DJ saved my life that nite. We burned a hole in that damn dance floor and it probably will not be the same for some time. Side note #2.....dear Chris Cox, you are a very good DJ, I like you. But, if you ever try to pull that guitar shit again at a gay establishment, I will not only come on stage and beat you to death with it, I will also ask for my money back. Anywho....the nite ended around 5am and it was time for some rest before our final performance on Sunday.
When I woke up on Sunday my body ached, as though I had just got out of plastic surgery. I thought that Sunday would be a day that would just go by kind of slow, maybe some sitting in the Circle, catching up on last nite and then a little later going down to the festival, and ending it with Jr's.....oh not,not the way it went at all, not with the bitches I know. I got a call from Bernie telling me that we were going to meet some friends at brunch. I don't know if I've ever talked about brunch, but we go to this place called the Beacon. It's amazing, the food, the service, and on top of all that it's all you can eat and DRINK for $17.95. When you start your day with an all you can drink brunch, you are bound to be in for all kinds of SHENANIGANS from; who can give the best head, to talk of eating ass.....it was all there and it was all fabulous and amazing. After brunch we hit up Universal Queer for some eye protection. Afterwards, we hit the Pride Festival just in time to hear our girl Deborah Cox. Girlfriend was looking fierce and her voice was amazing....I live for her and can't wait to see her again in two weeks in San Fran. After staying in the heat for as long as we could, some of us sweat way too much for our own good....damn Thermoboost.....it was time to hit up our usual Sunday nite spot, Jr's. With $2 vodka drinks flowing and good friends all around, I decided to call it a nite around 9pm.
This morning I got to thinking and laughing about this past weekend and all that went on. In the end I realized that Pride is so much more then just some great parties and a parade, it's about friends. Without them, there would be nothing to be Proud of....
Thursday, June 09, 2005
A new summer
So yesterday while I was at home I decided to get caught up with my good friend TIVO.....I love him. I started with a show called "Blow Out".....now for those who don't know this show was on about a year ago and then it followed hair stylist Jonathan Antin and the troubles of opening a new salon in Beverley Hills. Fabulous.....it was drama, it was hair, it was fabulous. So this season is about Jonathan designing a new hair care product line. I have to say that I wasn't that happy with the first show. I wanted more. More drama, more hair, but instead I got Jonathan and that was about it. He was so into himself the entire show that I actually got turned off a little bit. Then, he showed up, Alyn. A fellow hair designer that works in Jonathans Beverly Hills salon. He also owns his own salon in Chicago, where supposedly he is big stuff. He is so cute and dreamy that I have found my reason to keeping watching the show.
Next, Queer as Folk. I kind of had a fall out with this show around season 3 and or 4. I don't know what happened, but I just stopped watching it. The characters, the plots, all of it just became too much. But seeing as this is the last season of the show, I figured, I was there in the beginning so I'll be there in the end. I will never forget when the show first aired. I was at home doing a break or something from college and I hadn't come out yet. So I would stay up late to catch the rerun at 12 o'clock and I would turn the volume down really low, as to not wake anyone, all the while praying that my mom didn't walk in on me watching the show. My finger always on the channel button, just in case. To be young again. Anywho....side note. The show is so good this season. I miss all the gay sex, and the drama that comes along with it. The characters seem to have come a long way since the days of not having a comic book and or working at some crazy ad agency. Also, please note Pittsburgh is in no way like that. After living there for almost a year, trust I never saw any of the boys like the ones on the show.
So next, Sports Kids Mom's and Dad's......no in a previous blog I talked about my love for Show Dogs Mom's and Dad's....same concept here, but instead of acting all crazy with animals this time it's kids. The show is so good already. You have a 5 kids that are basically living these crazy lives, all because their parents didn't make their dream of becoming the next big sports thing. My fav so far are the cheerleader’s mom, her daughter is 8 and her mom is crazy. Then there is the figure skater's mom, her son in 16 and she is nuts. I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So after a great new show, I settled in for Queer Eye. This show is so good, and especially after so many episodes. You would think that after so many make-overs it would all get old. Not so, somehow they figure out a way to bring a tear to my eye and a laugh out of my mouth.
All in all, Bravo deserves a standing O.....thank you for choosing to show new stuff in a summer that is filled with repeats of shows past. I loved the OC the first time around, I'll pass on a second helping.
Next, Queer as Folk. I kind of had a fall out with this show around season 3 and or 4. I don't know what happened, but I just stopped watching it. The characters, the plots, all of it just became too much. But seeing as this is the last season of the show, I figured, I was there in the beginning so I'll be there in the end. I will never forget when the show first aired. I was at home doing a break or something from college and I hadn't come out yet. So I would stay up late to catch the rerun at 12 o'clock and I would turn the volume down really low, as to not wake anyone, all the while praying that my mom didn't walk in on me watching the show. My finger always on the channel button, just in case. To be young again. Anywho....side note. The show is so good this season. I miss all the gay sex, and the drama that comes along with it. The characters seem to have come a long way since the days of not having a comic book and or working at some crazy ad agency. Also, please note Pittsburgh is in no way like that. After living there for almost a year, trust I never saw any of the boys like the ones on the show.
So next, Sports Kids Mom's and Dad's......no in a previous blog I talked about my love for Show Dogs Mom's and Dad's....same concept here, but instead of acting all crazy with animals this time it's kids. The show is so good already. You have a 5 kids that are basically living these crazy lives, all because their parents didn't make their dream of becoming the next big sports thing. My fav so far are the cheerleader’s mom, her daughter is 8 and her mom is crazy. Then there is the figure skater's mom, her son in 16 and she is nuts. I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So after a great new show, I settled in for Queer Eye. This show is so good, and especially after so many episodes. You would think that after so many make-overs it would all get old. Not so, somehow they figure out a way to bring a tear to my eye and a laugh out of my mouth.
All in all, Bravo deserves a standing O.....thank you for choosing to show new stuff in a summer that is filled with repeats of shows past. I loved the OC the first time around, I'll pass on a second helping.
Pride is in the air
So yesterday I was not in any kind of mood or ability to be at work....a bit hungover I have to say.
It all started on Tues. nite when I met a friend out for a couple of after-work drinks at the awesome Mexican restaurant, Lauriol Plaza. If you have not been I suggest you get right real quick and check it out. The food is ok, but the drinks are to kill for. They probably have one of the best frozen margaritas that I have ever had. Anywho....we can talk later about these matters. So after a half-pitcher and a bowl of chips and salsa I parted ways with my friend and was on my way home to watch some TV....that will have to be another blog cause Bravo is not holding back this summer bitches......As I stated to walk I thought I should call Chuck to see what he was doing. I actually felt guilty for not calling him earlier b/c he lives across the street from where the drinking of said fabulous margaritas took place...anywhosit....I decided to meet up with Chuck on the street to catch up, but as things tend to happen we were walking past Jr's and as fate would have it stepped in to see what was going on. Bad idea..... I was pretty drunk by the time I met up with Chuck, that damn Jose, so drinking more was probably not the smartest thing. So after a couple of drinks and some SPS....check out the link, we left there only to return again after finding the scene at Halo a bit of a downer. Now any decent person would have told me to stop drinking and take my ass home, not Chuck, that bitch, like me loves chaos and mischief, so we had a couple more and decided that it was time to go.
By now the fire is already going pretty strong and one knows how hard it is to put a forest fire out after it's been going for a while, so I called Nard up and decided to pick him up and head back out. We met up with some friends from B'more and Chuck again, of course, and headed to a place that I had never been before, Windows aka DIK bar. Now our friends from B'more are a little crazy, one in particular, Jamie. Everytime I'm around him I get drunk without fail. I love him to death, but my body can not handle him. So after being there for a while, and of course I was wicked drunk by now, a couple of Jamie drinks in me only produced one thing....the crazies. I don't even remember getting wasted....it was like ooooo I'm a little drunk to oh my god I am pass out drunk right now. So anywho, after a couple more drinks, some karoke, not me...others, and a drag queen feeling me up as though I was going out of style, we left the bar, well some of us, not me. I stayed behind to talk with a man that I remember having braces and no lisp....weird I know. After discussing who know's what....I left DIK bar to meet up with the ladies at Cobalt. That's were things get a little fuzzy......I remember going into said club and I remember leaving said club, it's the middle that is neither here nor there.
Anywho, I woke up the next moring to find myself dressed head to toe in full gear and at 11am. I'm a mess, I know.
You think that I would have had enough on Tues., but oh no....not this queen. Yesterday, after doing a bunch of stuff around the house, mostly getting caught up with TIVO, I found out that a certain someone was headed back down from B'more to give the fans a little more. So last nite me, Nard, and Chaz went to Jr's for a couple of drinks and then over to Chaos for hip-hop nite. It's really ladies night, but calling it hip-hop nite makes me feel so much better, not really into the whole carpert movement. After sweating to death for about an hour we finally met up with Jamie and gave the fans a little something....there was the one armed shimmy, gold chains on shoulders and some fierce hair. All in all it was a good nite.
So now it's time for the real party to begin. That was all just a warm up for what's about to come. Pride is upon us and that can only mean one thing.....DC watch out because it's about to get outta hand.
It all started on Tues. nite when I met a friend out for a couple of after-work drinks at the awesome Mexican restaurant, Lauriol Plaza. If you have not been I suggest you get right real quick and check it out. The food is ok, but the drinks are to kill for. They probably have one of the best frozen margaritas that I have ever had. Anywho....we can talk later about these matters. So after a half-pitcher and a bowl of chips and salsa I parted ways with my friend and was on my way home to watch some TV....that will have to be another blog cause Bravo is not holding back this summer bitches......As I stated to walk I thought I should call Chuck to see what he was doing. I actually felt guilty for not calling him earlier b/c he lives across the street from where the drinking of said fabulous margaritas took place...anywhosit....I decided to meet up with Chuck on the street to catch up, but as things tend to happen we were walking past Jr's and as fate would have it stepped in to see what was going on. Bad idea..... I was pretty drunk by the time I met up with Chuck, that damn Jose, so drinking more was probably not the smartest thing. So after a couple of drinks and some SPS....check out the link, we left there only to return again after finding the scene at Halo a bit of a downer. Now any decent person would have told me to stop drinking and take my ass home, not Chuck, that bitch, like me loves chaos and mischief, so we had a couple more and decided that it was time to go.
By now the fire is already going pretty strong and one knows how hard it is to put a forest fire out after it's been going for a while, so I called Nard up and decided to pick him up and head back out. We met up with some friends from B'more and Chuck again, of course, and headed to a place that I had never been before, Windows aka DIK bar. Now our friends from B'more are a little crazy, one in particular, Jamie. Everytime I'm around him I get drunk without fail. I love him to death, but my body can not handle him. So after being there for a while, and of course I was wicked drunk by now, a couple of Jamie drinks in me only produced one thing....the crazies. I don't even remember getting wasted....it was like ooooo I'm a little drunk to oh my god I am pass out drunk right now. So anywho, after a couple more drinks, some karoke, not me...others, and a drag queen feeling me up as though I was going out of style, we left the bar, well some of us, not me. I stayed behind to talk with a man that I remember having braces and no lisp....weird I know. After discussing who know's what....I left DIK bar to meet up with the ladies at Cobalt. That's were things get a little fuzzy......I remember going into said club and I remember leaving said club, it's the middle that is neither here nor there.
Anywho, I woke up the next moring to find myself dressed head to toe in full gear and at 11am. I'm a mess, I know.
You think that I would have had enough on Tues., but oh no....not this queen. Yesterday, after doing a bunch of stuff around the house, mostly getting caught up with TIVO, I found out that a certain someone was headed back down from B'more to give the fans a little more. So last nite me, Nard, and Chaz went to Jr's for a couple of drinks and then over to Chaos for hip-hop nite. It's really ladies night, but calling it hip-hop nite makes me feel so much better, not really into the whole carpert movement. After sweating to death for about an hour we finally met up with Jamie and gave the fans a little something....there was the one armed shimmy, gold chains on shoulders and some fierce hair. All in all it was a good nite.
So now it's time for the real party to begin. That was all just a warm up for what's about to come. Pride is upon us and that can only mean one thing.....DC watch out because it's about to get outta hand.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Once in a while
So this past weekend didn't really see that much activity as past. On friday me and the girls gathered to have a "women empowering" movie night. We decided that before the season really gets into gear we should clear our heads and get back to "one". We started off with a great movie and a lot of food, "What's Love Got to Do With It". If you have not seen this movie, I beg of you to put your shame away for one day and let your soul live. My homegirl Angela Bassett does an amazing job of playing a Soul Surviving Sister Tina Turner. The acting plus the show stopping dance and music numbers really did a number on us and you can believe that there were tears flowing.....Next, we moved on up hill to another great Sister movie, "Waiting To Exhale". Again if you have not seen this movie dust your inner diva off and rent it. If you don't know about the wonderful Terry McMillan book and equally great movie, it is about four "sisters" that deal with various issues from men to their own personal problems. Of course all four of the girls fit neatly into one of the four characters....I'll let you guess were we ended up. With two movies behind us we called it a nite.
Sat, after throwing up for several hours after coming home friday nite...3am-3pm, this happens when you eat too many of your feelings, we decided to head over to Chuck's for some pre-drinks and then make our way to Cobalt. All in all, a good nite.
Sun...found me waking up a little later then expected. I was spending the day in VA beach with my mom. Her and various other parts of my extended family had made the trek from St. Louis to VA Beach for a week long vaca. I hadn't seen my mom since sometime in Feb, when I went home for work. We only got to spend a little time together because I brought co-workers home for dinner, so I was really looking forward to seeing her. I got up around 8:30, the original plan had me up and on the road by 7:30....not happening after a nite out with the girls and all. So I finally hit the road around 9ish and it was a gorgeous day for driving. I had never driven south of Fredicksburgh, Va before so this was going to something new for me. All in all, a really smooth ride. There was barley any traffic and I got to drive over water. I don't know what it is about driving over water, but it always makes things for me a little calmer. I love it....anyway side not..... My mom and others were camping with a newly acquired camper and truck...both of which I was interested in seeing. Seeing my mom is always a great time for me. My mom and I have such a great relationship. I can talk to her about anything, unlike my other siblings. We had a long discussion about life in general. We talked about death, life and being gay. Ever since I came out to my mom, it's been interesting. Although she knows, I think that she would be happier not knowing. She is for the most part, just not happy that I'm gay. I think that she always thought that I would be the one of her kids to live the "great american life"...go to school, get a job, a wife, and then kids. We'll I've done most of that except the wife and kids part oh and the job part for right now.....but the conversation was the first real one that we've had since I told her I was gay almost 3yrs ago. We discussed the difference between those who choose to be "gay" and those who are born "gay". In the end I think that all points were taken on both sides and if anything we grew that much closer. After having dinner with the fam I took off for a three hour drive into the sun set. It was beautiful.
In all, the weekend was just what I needed. Relaxing, soul searching and stress free....God, I wish there were more like it.
Sat, after throwing up for several hours after coming home friday nite...3am-3pm, this happens when you eat too many of your feelings, we decided to head over to Chuck's for some pre-drinks and then make our way to Cobalt. All in all, a good nite.
Sun...found me waking up a little later then expected. I was spending the day in VA beach with my mom. Her and various other parts of my extended family had made the trek from St. Louis to VA Beach for a week long vaca. I hadn't seen my mom since sometime in Feb, when I went home for work. We only got to spend a little time together because I brought co-workers home for dinner, so I was really looking forward to seeing her. I got up around 8:30, the original plan had me up and on the road by 7:30....not happening after a nite out with the girls and all. So I finally hit the road around 9ish and it was a gorgeous day for driving. I had never driven south of Fredicksburgh, Va before so this was going to something new for me. All in all, a really smooth ride. There was barley any traffic and I got to drive over water. I don't know what it is about driving over water, but it always makes things for me a little calmer. I love it....anyway side not..... My mom and others were camping with a newly acquired camper and truck...both of which I was interested in seeing. Seeing my mom is always a great time for me. My mom and I have such a great relationship. I can talk to her about anything, unlike my other siblings. We had a long discussion about life in general. We talked about death, life and being gay. Ever since I came out to my mom, it's been interesting. Although she knows, I think that she would be happier not knowing. She is for the most part, just not happy that I'm gay. I think that she always thought that I would be the one of her kids to live the "great american life"...go to school, get a job, a wife, and then kids. We'll I've done most of that except the wife and kids part oh and the job part for right now.....but the conversation was the first real one that we've had since I told her I was gay almost 3yrs ago. We discussed the difference between those who choose to be "gay" and those who are born "gay". In the end I think that all points were taken on both sides and if anything we grew that much closer. After having dinner with the fam I took off for a three hour drive into the sun set. It was beautiful.
In all, the weekend was just what I needed. Relaxing, soul searching and stress free....God, I wish there were more like it.
Friday, June 03, 2005
ChChChanges
So last nite Bernie and myself decided that we would check out a local bar called Apex. On Thursday nite's Apex host college nite, which means that entrance is free with a college idea or $5 without...either way a good deal. Now, one goes there to hear a variety of music. In one room you can dance the night away to Janet's latest single or you can opt for a little more up tempo and hit the dance floor hard to a little Tom Stephan.
I go for the R&B, cause here in DC it's not common for clubs to really play a lot of rap and/or R&B. The r&b room is a little small, but it works especially after a long work week and all you want to do is dance the week away and say hello to the weekend. As soon as you enter the room you are greeted by something that may not be so common; teenage boys. Because it's college nite, you only have to be 18+ to get in, which is either a good thing or a bad one. For me it's bad.
The room being the size that it is, is not very conducive to pre-teen Queens jumping up and down to Britney's latest. As I looked around, in the over crowded room, last nite I started to notice something, most of the boys that were there all had something in common; either they were wearing hollister t-shirt's, bronzer, and/or some kind of eye make-up. What the hell is going on.
I don't know if it's cause I'm a jaded, bitter, queen or what, but when I was growing up fags did not act like this. We were a different breed. No make-up, no tight t-shirts, and def. no long hair that came with product and highlights. These boys, they can only be called that, are so different. OBVI, it's a different time and place, but is it really that much different. Sure gays are on TV nowa day's, and you can even see guys having sex together if you and or your parents shell out the $70 a month for cable. But, we still live in a world were racism still exist, gays get beat for holding each other's hands in public, and innocent people day each day. So as much as time is changing, is it really time or "Gays" that are changing.....
I go for the R&B, cause here in DC it's not common for clubs to really play a lot of rap and/or R&B. The r&b room is a little small, but it works especially after a long work week and all you want to do is dance the week away and say hello to the weekend. As soon as you enter the room you are greeted by something that may not be so common; teenage boys. Because it's college nite, you only have to be 18+ to get in, which is either a good thing or a bad one. For me it's bad.
The room being the size that it is, is not very conducive to pre-teen Queens jumping up and down to Britney's latest. As I looked around, in the over crowded room, last nite I started to notice something, most of the boys that were there all had something in common; either they were wearing hollister t-shirt's, bronzer, and/or some kind of eye make-up. What the hell is going on.
I don't know if it's cause I'm a jaded, bitter, queen or what, but when I was growing up fags did not act like this. We were a different breed. No make-up, no tight t-shirts, and def. no long hair that came with product and highlights. These boys, they can only be called that, are so different. OBVI, it's a different time and place, but is it really that much different. Sure gays are on TV nowa day's, and you can even see guys having sex together if you and or your parents shell out the $70 a month for cable. But, we still live in a world were racism still exist, gays get beat for holding each other's hands in public, and innocent people day each day. So as much as time is changing, is it really time or "Gays" that are changing.....
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